An alert reader told my wife that the details of my plan are still a little unclear. Well I can fix that problem.
Step 1: I leave my full-time job, switching to light part-time consulting work. This happens in less than 3 months!!
Step 2: I take education and subject-specific courses at my wifes college. (See specific course details here.) This lasts 2.5 years, including the final semester of student teaching. I earn no degrees, but do receive Wisconsin state certification to teach at the middle- and high- school levels. I also obtain what might be termed an undergraduate degree equivalent in music, which only a hypothetical future graduate program cares about.
Step 3: At some point during Step 2 (maybe Summer 2010) I begin coursework on a Masters degree, most likely an MSE in Math Education.
Step 4: In Fall 2012 I get the perfect high-school job, my four year-old daughter gets accepted to Harvard, my wife is promoted instantly to full Professor, and we live happily ever after. Give or take.
Step 5: I finish that Masters degree with evening +/or summer courses.
Hope this helps, alert reader!